Me, myself and I

So its 8:34pm and I have so much to do, I haven’t been able to get anything done today because I keep thinking on how time has taken away so much of who I really was and now destiny or karma or whatever it is has decided to dump everything on me at once and show me that I really need to go back to the person I used to be instead of the person I’ve become.

It’s been two months since I came back from Colombia and from then on it seems like my routine is to keep on waiting on something to hit me, to go back to reality and I think it finally did, I’ve recently taken ways and making choices just for the sake of doing something but really why do experiences and people you met change or let’s say influence your life so highly.

Once I came back from Colombia on February the 27th and thought I had my life so perfectly planned there was no reason to panic or to even dream of something better I decided to start a journal, I had gotten this cute book (kind of diary thing) at a book store in Bogotá and never really thought I will be writing on it because I tend to plan so much I never get to do it. As I landed in Toronto after living the longest ten hours of my life and recovering from crying all the way there, it took me hours to finally get down to catch my Robert Q bus home to London, I realized I had been in Colombia and everything had happened so fast that I didn’t even enjoy or actually live those months. I sat at the airport and started writing on this journal, so many of those memories just came rushing in my head like rain pouring from the sky.

I wrote and read all, I felt and realized this was so useful, I have been keeping up with it as often as my schedule allows me to and I decided it was a really good idea and it is all about getting used to it and not let too many days go by without writing on it. Sincerely it has showed me the many things that can happen to you in a single day, a simple 24 hour day and it has also revealed the fact that days can go by unadvertised and be forgotten easily, days that I sit down and think …seriously what did I do on Monday? It’s so sad to think that we let days go by and do nothing meaningful to make them valuable and memorable.

I am quite scare to face that person I’ve put aside over the past two years, I know I’ve been hiding from the person I am and focusing on being this person people has created. I think it’s enough and I do believe in sings and destiny, so from now on I am just going to focus on re – creating myself and I am going to try and remember that person I used to be. I will dream again and live everyday to do something not anything but something that will make me happy and make my life worth living.

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be".

This week has given me the privilege of remembering who I was and has brought me time with people I met long ago when I wasn’t who I have become, and this reminded me of this quote it’s now proven to be real, I lived it and I am living it yet again. Thank God it finally hit me or else I will keep living this senseless life. To those who are back and to me who is back too! Great !