Wondering Why Fear Is So Powerful

Almost Drunk................



What's my name???


Remember the Sleepless Nights Post? back on April...Wow time does go by and really fast...I said that I had been "Dumped" over msn but I actually wasn't. He asked me to have some time for ourselves and well I assumed we were over and I guess I was mistaken since he talked to me a couple of weeks back and asked me if I had thought of our relationship? I was pretty shocked over it and I had no time to think about it at the time but after all I have been given sings that have taken me to think of him a lot. I heard the radio and all and then this week I was just thinking of him all the time, so I really wanted to call him when the fear just took over me and I was unable to.

I've been thinking for days now why is it that fear gets to you and you can't let go of it? So, I started answering this question; I've been meaning to call someone and fighting with myself all the week just because I wanted really bad to talk to this person and I was so scared of I have No idea what ...I swear I don't. I thought of the reasons why I was "scared" of calling:

* That he picked up
* Wherever he was going to say
* Wherever I would have to answer to that
* Whether or not he would actually want to answer my call
* If he wanted to talk to me once he knew it was me!!

What I have right now:

* We are not talking
* I really wanted to know how he was doing
* I just wanted to talk to him
* I really wanted to know how he felt about us
* I really wanted to know whether we were something or I was actually single...hahaha

To Loose:

* Nothing!!!! Because this is exactly what I had.

To Get:

* Satisfaction, since I overcame my fear
* Talking to him, since this is what I wanted
* Knowing whether he wanted to talk to me or not
* Actually clarifying my feelings

So I gather all this together and called, yes I did. No one has the right to interfere in your decisions and most of all in your relationships and I have dedices upon it and I called.

The Results:

* He was expecting me to call.
* He was Happy I called ( Or I think he was...Nah He was!)
* I was happy he talked to me
* He had been thinking of me and talking about me TODAY!
* He asked me to call him whenever I thought of him
* I think we're still together.

I really want to give myself the chance to love him and to fall in love with him. I really want to if he lets me and if he wants to.I need to let go slowly but with someone meaningful and amazing, just like him. Maybe this is why I met "The One" I thought was the one ....just to met the one that might be the one. After all, I've heard it takes meeting all the wrong people to met the right one and then you never know when that happens.