It’s not supposed to be that hard…

“It’ll end in tears”

I was just watching the “Bed, Bath & Beyond” episode of Will & Grace and realized how alike Grace’s relationship with Nathan was to mine with “The One”. There are so many things to think about when it comes to relationships and sometimes you get to think about them when it is already really late. Still I thought of it from another perspective and I wonder if it really comes down to this:
Should it really be easy?
I mean it’s love suppose to flow like a river, to just be without so much work or does it have to be something that you create along the way together …
It’s hard to know but realistically somehow I think it should be easier, if its right it will work effortlessly and why does it come down to the point where you seem to be forcing a relationship in order for it to work. I have been through my relationship with “The One” many times and I realized that I have been covering up for his mistakes in order to explain my devotion to loving him.

He lied and he was so full of excuses and I did so much, I did all I could just because I Loved Him but this is no excuse for keeping this feeling when I know that when we were together it just didn’t seem right. I felt like we had to do so much, most of the time to make it look good. Like when a piece in a puzzle fits almost right and yet is not the one that goes there.

There was emptiness, a wall, a something I still can figure out what it was. Once I realized it was so hard to make it work and when I remembered all the good times where just a few, I decided to look upon the reasons and the facts why it didn’t work.
At the beginning there was a relationship or the wish of a relationship that could have so easily work out, we were friends and we were good together and it simply seemed so appropriate, I guess you can get rapidly involve in the idea of something working when you want it so bad. When we met we seemed to be made for each other and we had a lot in common, it was hard knowing we were so far away an yet we did enjoy the time we share together; even though we broke up we still felt a lot for each other.

After a while when we stated talking again, we missed each other and we started working even with the distance in between we were mad in love and we just wanted to be together so bad. Maybe it was the way we dreamed so much of each other or the fact we were planning so much and unable to do most of it but I felt like doing anything and everything for US. I went there and I was freaking out, scared of the unknown future ahead of me.

When I was neared him I knew there was something missing, there was someone missing, the person I’ve met was not the one I was standing in front off. I was dating someone else, all his sweetness and qualities where gone and he became someone else. No one knows the person you are dating more than you; certainly I knew deep inside something wasn’t right.

There was so much missing and I wanted so bad to understand, I unfortunately couldn’t. After all I now know that he indeed was lying and he had decided he couldn’t do everything he had planned. He just figure out ways to get out of our relationship and to be able to blame me for it not working.

I can't say I was perfect, I had so many mistakes and I just try too hard, but I still tried and I still loved him...I actually still do. After all I just wanted us to be, so after so much trying, maybe like he said "It just wasn't put time".

Among lonely people are all those in loved ones that are still trying to understand why? Now you must know that answer probably is inside of you and you alone...
Inability lo love.





*********If DrEAmS WeRe NoT BeAuTiFuL, ThEy WoUlD QuIcKlY Be FoRGoTtEn.**********