...Feeling$

Somehow your scent is still lingering through my life
I feel the sadness and emptiness of not having you,
even though you will hurt me over and over again
and I know it will be more painful than anything else.

It's the shadow of what I thought was meant to be
and I beg of my heart to set you free, I please
that my soul gets out and hates you and I just wish
my head could run my feelings.

Let me choose my destiny and get you out forever
I might be lying,I might end up loving you again
but I know I shouldn't do it and I will somehow
convinced myself of what I deserve.

I feel restless and music is not pleasurable,
most things make me angry and love, love is not enough
it simply is not a reason to let someone
ruin you so deeply and purposely.

ThE PuZzLe .....M& lIF3

As I remember, you have seen the puzzle....yes the 6000 piece puzzle that I have been trying to get done and that I decided was just like my life. I did write about it in The Comeback, remember? And even though it was just a metaphor, it actually is becoming just like my life. You can see in this pictures how much progress is been made to it and just like that I'll let you know my life is been progressing towards a point where I can actually say...I might after all make it and Make it Better.

I have done a lot, I have a plan somehow and I am planing to stick to it. I will learn French or at least start learning French this year and I have come to join the world of society again, well it hasn't change much but it is still better than inside of my own where all I can do is judge myself and think there is too much to do and not enough time to do it.



Instead I have shown my face again, I have regain friends I had before and new amazing people has come into my life. I still need more time to adjust to going out a lot and very often, trying not to fall sleep early and getting to know more people. Giving humans the privilege of a real friendship seems very hard for me and it is a very difficult thing to do, but I will strive to make it happen.

There is also the Public Relations part of my job which I enjoy very much and I have been given the privilege of getting because of my loyalty and extreme dedication to The Duende and Ritmo & Cafe. This groups will depend on my for their events to be as successful as it can be and I will dedicate part of my time to do it.

So far, I am still in the process of waiting for the MTCU approval in order to go on into my future, I will however start in September to get all my credits done by December and hopefully in I go to C/U in January or September of next year. This does definitely mean that I will regardless have to stay in London,ON for the next 2 or 3 years which doesn't seem as bad now just because this will only happen if I get to have the MTCU pay for my studying, otherwise Farewell London ...very ...very soon!

The Sky Is The Limit

I' ve been reading, following the path and trying to get to the bottom of who I am ...the person I've left behind in the middle of all the noise of my non-stopping world and with all the hassle I didn't remember to be more attentive and preserve that self.

I am getting somewhere very slowly and I needed all that has happen to realize I might have taken all the wrong paths just to find out that I will end up in the right one, there are many choices but there isn't enough time to try them all and still being successful, sometimes (very often ....more like lately) I feel that I am useless(I know am not), it's just the way I feel. There is no need of going deeper into that feeling, but I did thought it was because from all the time spend taking care of others, I have always ended up forgetting about me, my dreams,my goals,my soul, my heart...ME!

I see time going by...quite fast honestly and I think to myself if all of it was worth living, maybe something could have been better. Taking more chances, risks, other paths...But eh I took those ones and here I am today. I am kind off happy and regret less and I know there was a reason for all I can't see right now but I will see it someday.

I just spend the w/end in Kitchener and I talked to someone who made me realize how stupid I am for being scare and who Thank GoD told me so that I could run free from those fears and remember that I can have it all if I do what I have to in order to succeed. I know I will, the time has passed where I just waited for better things to come my way...I will make it big.